Sometimes, i feel stupid

I know that a man would do anything for his loved one. Including me. Well, basically everyone do that so there’s nothing special here. The thing is, sometimes it’s getting stupid when it comes to my way of ‘doing anything for his loved one’.

I know that i’m out from college and i resigned from my work. Now i’m just a freelancer who’s not often getting paid for what i have done. It’s true, i feel like i do many things but didn’t get anything from that. I do have a job, but it’s not necessarily for me to getting paid.

I’m building my own business from a scratch, by my own, with no one really helping me out. Well, i got some friends who give me advice but that’s it. It’s quite helping, sometimes. But not all the time. Well… my parent still lending me some cash in order for me to stay alive. Literally.

Sometimes i feel to proud of myself and i don’t want to ask them for some money when i literally starving. I do receive some cash by doing some website making and some other things, but it’s not quite often.

The stupid thing is that i know that i can’t meet my girl often so we both meet just like once or twice in a month. Sometimes i save my money (like when actually i should’n have too) so i can meet her and at least grab something for her to take back home.

I am willing to spend my time and energy, or even feels like dying by just eating noodles all the time to save money so i don’t have to worry when i’m asking her out. Is every boy who falls in love do that? Maybe yes, but they won’t be stupid enough like me.

Apart from the suffering, i guess it’s a worth thing to do.