I felt like i’m actually on the top right now. I mean, i’m making a really big step right now. Just for your information, i’m quitting from the college. Yeah, you’ve heard that. Don’t ask me why, just don’t. What i feel after i decided to to that, was somehow free and happiness. I can imagine that i can do more things that i like. And of course, make some cash and try to make my own living. It’s a big deal, but i’m hitting 20 in the next month.
I have to admit it that i got a lot of problem too. Well, there are things that bother me a little. It is about my relationship. And again, you’ve heard that. I mean… yes i actually having a relationship with someone. But to be honest, i feel like i don’t have any. We barely talk, we barely say anything or even greet each other. Well it is because of simple things that get complicated. Basically i had no phone right now. The only way to talk to me is through Line app. But the thing is, she almost never use that app. And she’s being busy all the time. Do i miss her? Yeah, i do. Sometime. Maybe.
I don’t really close with anyone right now. And to be honest, i don’t really have someone to talk to. Well maybe it’s just because of me being a loner and finally ended up becoming such a loser. But hey, it’s not really a big deal, okay? . I’m fine, like totally. Just hungry a little bit. Now why did i even wrote that title with a big FOOL words in it? I don’t know. It’s just running through my head. And it’s just like what i said, i feel happy but then i feel sad in the same time.
The truth is, there are so many things that i want to share. But i couldn’t. I just can’t. Too many lies, too many sins, too many risk to share my life-kind-of-related-shi*. Well sometime i do want to inspire people with my writing. But my life is a mess, i can’t even inspire myself. I do can say good things to people, but i really don’t want to lie to myself and be proud of it. It’s just a no.
Being alone is okay, but being lonely is a pain.